How does a father bond with their child?
It is much easier to become a father than to be one. — Kent Nerburn, Letters to My Son: Reflections on Becoming a Man
I agree! Most of us men can make a baby easy enough but a real dad (in my eyes) is not necessarily ‘blood related’ but is the carer and protector of the child. He’s there during those special moments, through thick and thin, happy and sad times.
What activities do you do (father and son bonding activities..) with your child that create an understanding between father (you) and your son/daughter, which will essentially last a Lifetime? Deep words, yes but a great question.
Before I was a father to my beautiful son (now 18 months old), I said to myself that I would make sure to ‘spend quality time’ with him. As a father I wanted to learn how to educate him, what to teach him and the day to day routines that we need to put in place to teach him so he progresses well and is happy. This is not an easy task and like anything we do in life.. Learning is the key ingredient to being successful. And remember I am a teacher by trade, Primary and Secondary School so am I a little biased..? who knows..
This is how I make sure I spend time with my son.
Working from home gives me more time than any dad that I know AND for that, I know I am a lucky man .. Imagine this.. We have a work room at the front of the house.. There is the smallest of hallways that leads you to the living room through a door. Eddison is through the room with Sam who takes turns with me to look after him. I’ll talk about this aspect in another blog.
I plan my breaks throughout the day and I use the breaks to go out in the garden (it’s summer here at this time) with my wee man. He just loves the garden and I have taught him to help water the plants with his own little watering can and we search for the frog family that are living in our small but do-able garden.
Children are natural gardeners eartheasy.com Check out the best plants to grow with your child here!
We spend all my 10-15 minutes in the garden playing and having fun. And the key is that I am with him playing – pretending to dig, watching the frogs jump around the plants, on his bike etc. Yes he has time on his own throughout the day because this is also very important for his develpment, however, our time together is about bonding.
It’s also about enjoying the fact that I am a dad and I have an amazing son that completely changed my life (I know that every father will say this and it’s very true).
So, what is quality time? What should us dads do with our children to form a true bond, and help them along their journey?
Here’s what I think fathers, PARENTS, dads must do to establish that bond and become involved themselves ‘in the early stages’ of their child’s life:
Spend actual quality time with your child
This does not mean take them to the pub then have a beer whilst they sit in their buggy. It doesn’t mean put a film on or a cartoon and get your phone out to make a few ‘business’ calls. Nor does it mean driving them to the park and leaving them to play on their own.
What it means is dropping everything that you are doing and focusing entirely on them. Even if it’s for, as I said before, a matter of minutes, your attention must be on them and what they are doing. You need to be organised and plan out when you are ‘working’ and when you are having ‘son/daughter’ time. One of my colleagues Gabrielle from http://www.igetitfrommymammablog.com/ Schedules a Saturday morning in to do her work. This is an agreed time with her and her husband when she can concentrate. Time to yourself is another key topic which will be covered another day I’m sure.
Listen – watch – interact
Children are full of questions and things that they want to do with you, even if they can’t speak!
So get involved in their life. Sit on the floor with them, get the building blocks out BUT… Don’t just build a huge tower yourself and think that your job is done…Teach them the basics.. E.g. how to put one brick on top of another, watch them try, assist them, SHOW – ASSIST – SIT BACK AND WATCH THEM HAVE FUN – REPEAT! Remember, making mistakes is the name of the game and also remember that they haven’t done this before. Everything’s new to them.. Think of learning to drive.. It takes time doesn’t it.. So take time with them.
Be consistent…. Children love routine
Please don’t start a great thing and then give it up or change it without revisiting it regularly. This is your child. You brought them into the world and it’s your job to make sure that they have the best opportunity / head start (education buzz word).
SO.. Repeat the process – by this I mean the activity, the game, the building of the tower…. Once a week … Once a day.. Whatever the time frame is, keep it regular. Children need routine. And with consistency always always always revisit the ‘Listen – watch – interact’ section.
Please get involved
I would love to hear about your stories and experiences – both business and family. Write in, contact me, https://madeat94.com/contact-us/ or comment on the blogs that are to follow if you find them interesting.
If you have any questions or want to know more just comment below
Look out for my next blog and please share with your friends on Your social media streams. Plus one final thing. Like our Facebook page and you can see loads of gift ideas related to our crafts business Little Miss Scrabbled.